this is the song that doesn't end..

foreal,

i miss you.

back to normal.

Ok, had somewhat of a breakdown. but I'm back.
Time to man the fuck up.

I got this, because You got me.

MY time will come soon, i hope/pray.

"The Lord isn't really being slow about His promise, as some people think. No, He is being patient for your sake…" (2 Peter 3:9)

reality strikes again.

As much as I say I need to do this, or I need to do that. For some reason I did a 'year in review', and Good Lord. For the first time in a long while, I can say that I'm blessed in ways I never realized that I was. (did that make sense?) I've made some changes in the past year, although they were small, they have made such an impact on me today. For once, this blog is quite the content one. No more complaining. I just need to realize that I've been truly blessed by Him.

I love You. Thank You for everything.

it's not called suffering just because..

I have no idea why this "bump" in the road is taking this much of a toll on me. Mentally and spiritually it's testing me. But I just need to have faith in Him and in myself. Both of which are easier said than done, but I'm praying and that's all that really matters.

"When He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10

I'm golden already.

minor changes.

small changes usually lead to big things, right? sometimes? well i hope it does that this time around.

i went all day without a cigarette. IM PRETTY DAMN PROUD OF MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

it's time.

it's time to grow the fuck up. I gotta stop being wah wah. I've got to stop saying i'm going to do this, this, and this.. and actually DO it. But first --

stop being lazy! stop being lazy! stop being lazy! stop being lazy! stop being lazy! stop being lazy!

I think I'm going to start sticking up post-its all over the place. My first post it will be : "stop being lazy." But I need post-its first. Time to take some from work.

evan almighty.

I went to a classmate's house today to work on a project. I guess it's a good thing that she puts on the TV to HBO and just let it play. (also to make it a little less awkward while we were doing work.) One of the movies that came on was Evan Almighty. Unfortunately, I didn't catch the whole movie, but coincidentally, I started watching when it was basically the climax of the movie. Or starting to be the climax of the movie? I don't know. Anyway, yeah, so it was the scene where Evan's wife and the kids were eating and she has a short conversation with God. One of the lines he said really struck me.. "If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?"

Now, for someone who is constantly asking the Lord to teach me how to be patient, it seems so.. dumb, but.. i think i FINALLY get it? it seems really elementary if you think about it. When someone prays for patience, the Lord doesn't just wave His hand over you, He gives you an opportunity to learn it. Each day is like another opportunity.

Now my problem? I always thought I was a patient person. But I think the reason for that is because I'm just USED to waiting around. But, that was for other people. Like, waiting for people to finish getting ready, waiting in line for the bathroom. I don't know.

I'm still waiting for my life to start. But I want it to start NOW. I want to love someone, NOW. I want to be skinny, NOW. Everything is now, now, now ! But I know none of those things are going to come to me unless i am... *drumroll* ........ PATIENT.

I need to have faith in His plan for me. I need to TRUST Him. I need to have patience.

This thing is seriously a vicious cycle.

i had an epiphany today.

I NEED CHANGE.

My List

On my drive home today from mass and lunch with my lambchop's family I got to do some thinking about my goals for the next 5 or so years. And goals for the present time. Let's see how many of these I actually accomplish. *sigh

1) STOP SMOKING.
2) Eat healthier, and be careful of what I eat and what time I eat.
3) Lose 20 lbs by September 2009. Time to start really doing work... NOW.
4) Buy a new car.
5) Depending on my financial standing in a couple years, move the eff out.
6) Travel as much as I can. First three trips on THAT list -- West Coast Tour, Europe, and the Philippines.
7) Run at least 5x a week. -- this is where #1 really comes into play.
8) Watch more movies. I need to step my movie game up.

Okay I lied. This was more of a to-do list. Whatever. I have a lot of work cut out for me. But I know I can do it. =) WATCH ME.

hi, i'm trisha.

so here i am. 3:33 in the morning. (weird) and i decided to start up this blogging thing. it's been years since i last blogged which was on xanga. oh those were the days.

i've been meaning to start writing again, but i find that my hand gets tired. so im resorting to blogging. yeah, i can get really lazy. i need to stop that.

let's see how long i can keep this up for.